So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
