what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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