My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
