he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
