Apparently you make a good broom.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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