i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
this will be a night to untag.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He did a backflip because drugs
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
