I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
