you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
