There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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