Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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