I can tuck mytits in my pants
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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