Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
