wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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