He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
