I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
