I want to stick my p in your. b.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
