your thong is hanging out like whoa
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
