he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
false alarm, still single
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
