Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
