Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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