Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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