You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
