what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
