The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
