you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I have fence marks all over my body
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
