He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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