we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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