I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
