butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize