google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
