yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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