just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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