Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize