You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
