yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
