Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
