First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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