her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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