How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
