The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
No subtext here. People are naked.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
