I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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