I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
