Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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