I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
