She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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