Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
