Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
