whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
