Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
