Do you still have your period?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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