I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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