Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
