she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
