Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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