yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
