Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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