maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
