nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
