Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
zippers are such a cool invention
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Shitshow foam night was such a success
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
