I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
