shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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