I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
